It’s summer time and the wedding invitations are starting to arrive in dozens !
If it’s your Big Day this summer, you might want to read this article.
At your wedding, the most stressed out person is probably YOU ! Marriage is a big step and it comes with lots of “side effects”.
If you’re not anxious, you’re probably not very aware of what’s happening. This is not the normal situation. It’s more common for people to be anxious or even sad in the few months before their wedding day. This is totally normal !
Positive stress is a type of stress that comes due to happy events. When you plan a big trip, you are happy but at the same time you are anxious for you want every single detail to be well organized. Many hormones such as cortisol increase during stress, even if it’s a “happy” stress. When this hormone is high in the blood for a few months before your wedding day, it will most likely cause sadness and symptoms similar to those of depression. Common symptoms in the months preceding your wedding are insomnia, sadness, crying spells, trembling, difficulty swallowing, appetite changes, stomachaches. You might wonder how come you’re so unhappy and so tired psychologically and physically while it’s supposed to be the best thing that ever happens to you …This is when the feeling of guilt hits you as you start doubting your decision. You question yourself and your spouse to be. A thousand questions and ideas cross your mind every day. They can vary from whether you’re marrying too early to whether you’re marrying the right person at all. Let me assure you: This anxiety is totally normal ! Sadness during the months preceding your wedding day is even normal. Relax ! You are doing the right thing, every other person getting married this summer is probably feeling the same thing; you’re just anxious about the following:
- The details of the wedding day and how perfect you want them to be
- The move from your parents’ house to a new location
- The responsibility you will be carrying from that day onward (financial or other)
- The effort you need to make in order to adapt and adjust to the new life
- The high expectations of people
- The home sickness you’ll be having after the wedding
Many couples actually fight before their wedding day. This is due to the overload of stress and anxiety during that time. It’s kind of like preparing for a big birthday party except it’s ten times more stressful.
It’s important to deal with this stress and to manage it. These are some pointers:
Acknowledge your emotions
The most important thing to do is to be transparent about it and to share it with your fiancé(e), your parents, your best friend. You should process this emotion instead of repressing it inside to avoid damaging anger and impulsivity. It’s most likely the same for your partner. He or she will need to discuss it with you. Open up to them and be honest.
Organize your life
It’s also important to keep an agenda with you through out the months before your wedding day. Keep track of things to do by noting them down. Do not attempt to memorize what you have to do. This is not healthy. If you forget something, it will only make your anxiety worse.
Physical Stress Management
Exercise ! It will help your body relax and will help it reduce stress hormones.
Sleep well. Not excessively though; Try to maintain a good quality sleep of 8 to 9 hours max. Go to bed at regular hours.
Reduce caffeine and alcohol intake. They can only make you more nervous and edgy. They’re not the solution to your stress.
Have sex ! This is very important to maintain the bond between the two of you. Studies have also suggested that sex helps in stress release.
Reflect on your emotions and thoughts
Spend time alone. Meditate or pray. This will help you make the emotional and spiritual transition to your new life.
Understand the process
Marriage is a transition from one life to another. Hence you’re losing something in a way. You’re losing your current life and environment. Marriage at the psychological level includes a sense of loss. It needs some time for the “mourning” process to be completed till you start feeling normal again. Freedom is also something you will lose when you marry, mostly men realize that.